


What Child is This?

by Somekindofflower



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24955141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somekindofflower/pseuds/Somekindofflower
Summary: Slight canon divergence in 12x10: All About Christmas Eve. Abby tells Luka about the pregnancy earlier in the day when they're in lockup. Romantic Christmas fluff.
Relationships: Luka Kovač/Abby Lockhart
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	What Child is This?

**Author's Note:**

> So, Christmas in July, or close to it, for...reasons. Complete fluff. Hope you enjoy!

It doesn’t occur to her until a teasing comment Luka makes while they’re in bed and entangled, catching their breath.

“You can’t get enough of me, hmm?”

He chuckles as he says it, but her face goes hot because it’s the absolute truth.

“Is that a complaint?” 

He swats her lightly on the ass. “You know it’s not.” The fingers of their free hands weave together and he kisses her head. “Mm, can’t get enough either.” His voice is gravelly and sleepy, and she’s not surprised when he goes quiet and his breathing evens out.

Abby really CAN’T get enough. Not just the sex, but the talking, the touching, the flirting. Him. She’s been pining, missing him for years, and maybe that’s enough of a reason. Because, seriously, she wants him _all_ _the time._ It’s like she’s constantly ovulating or something.

Ovulating. Huh. 

It seems like it’s been a while.

Oh.  _ Ohhhhh. _

Her periods aren’t the most regular to start with, but she doesn’t think she’s had one at all since before she slept with Luka. In fact, she knows she hasn’t. 

And, oh, her breasts are tender. She chalked it up to the increased, um, attention they’ve been getting lately, but with that, plus her period, plus she  _ has  _ been randomly waking up early feeling a little strange. Come to think of it, coffee’s been smelling weird, too…

Yeah, she’s pregnant.

* * *

After a fitful night, Abby decides to get to County early. She has to grab a cake for the dessert table she’s “organizing”, which she kind of dropped the ball on, oops. It’s hard to care at the moment, but it’s a decent enough excuse for leaving before Luka.

It’s possible it’s something other than pregnancy. She’s not sure WHAT else it could be, especially considering all the...Luka...but either way, she’s got to know. What she’s going to do, how she’s going to feel, all of that is moot until she knows.

Sneaking onto the medical floor to use the bathroom to collect her sample makes her feel like she’s doing something illicit. Especially while she hightails it to the lab, labels the sample “Jane Doe” and puts a rush on the test. It’s tempting to stand over the guy and find out right away, but that won’t keep it secret, and she needs privacy to prepare herself. Because, oh God, what is she going to do? 

Luka will want this child, he’d want any child. She knows he wants her, now, too. But they haven’t talked about what they are to each other. If he decides to be with her for the sake of a child, like he did with Sam, and it made him miserable? It would break her. 

If she’s honest with herself, she believes it’s more than that, that they are more than that. Trusting it while trying not to get her hopes up too high is a delicate balance, especially if they now have big decisions to make. They’re finally,  _ finally,  _ together, and she is so utterly, ridiculously happy. She can’t stand the thought of ruining it.

Fortunately, the cake order was put in a week ago. It looks great, even if it’s not quite enough. She can grab some Little Debbie cakes or something from the Jumbo Mart if she gets really desperate. Power walking to the bakery and back gets out some of the nervous energy and keeps her from feeling too much, but if the results aren’t ready when she gets there, her head’s going to explode.

No waiting, straight to the lab she goes. She’s going to be late, but it’s not like Luka or Clemente will care. The results are there, and she heads back to the ER, ducking into a side hallway. Deep breath, gulp, and open.

It’s positive. The first thing that hits when she sees that is shocking, unbridled joy like she’s never known. A child, her child, Luka’s child. Panic rushes in right on the heels of it, which is more expected but no less strong for that. What is she going to do?

Before Abby can even catch her breath, Luka’s there, startling her and nearly making her drop the cake. He’s so happy, telling her they should spend Christmas together and beaming and she gets lost in him. They’re spending Christmas together. She hadn’t wanted to think about it before, not wanting to assume. He’s so giddy and happy and she’s right there with him, even if this bombshell she’s holding is tying her in knots.

How is she going to keep it to herself? It isn’t the best time while they’re at work and can’t really talk about it, but how is she supposed to do this all day? She doesn’t even know if she can. 

Neela’s nerves about meeting her in-laws gives her something else to focus on briefly. But then there’s Luka again with his transparent “department chief business” excuse that she’s pretty sure Neela thinks is code for a quickie in a closet. They talked about this. They need to control themselves at work, but damn, he’s too adorable and excited. 

As he goads her to guess what her gift is, he starts to reach for her and grabs a medicine bottle instead. She can’t hold back a smile. He’s trying so hard to be good and not touch her and it makes her feel delightfully smug that it’s so hard for him.

“A necklace.”

“It’s not jewelry.” The sheepish look on his face is adorable, like he’s afraid she’s disappointed. 

“Spark plugs. A glass frog.”

He scoffs at her.

“You’re going to love what I got you.” The tease slips out before she thinks about it too hard. 

“You didn’t get me anything.” 

“Yes, I did.” Or will, in about seven months or so. And what a something.

He rolls his eyes at her and smirks and damn, she can’t take the suspense. She’s going to do this.

“Luka.”

“Yeah?”

“I...okay, I can’t wait anymore. I—I thought maybe Christmas morning since we’re spending it together, but I can’t do it.” His increasing confusion makes her shut up. Her brain isn’t working, so she grabs the results from her pocket and thrusts the paper at him. “Here.”

Ugh, she’s practically vibrating from the tension. His brow creases and he turns to her in confusion. “When did a Jane Doe come in?”

Abby loves him, she does, but for a split second she really hates how long it takes him to catch up sometimes.

“Oh man! No, it’s— _ I’m  _ Jane Doe. Just look.” 

It’s clear when he gets it because it looks like his brain glitches and shuts down as he goes more still than she’s ever seen him. It feels like an eternity and she’s getting more nervous by the second. He’s not even breathing. Her hand on his arm finally makes him jerk and gasp for breath.

His arms shoot around her and catch her off guard as her face is crushed against his chest. A huge sigh of relief escapes her and he pulls back reluctantly. 

“How?”

She snorts. “‘ _ How, Doctor  _ Kovač?” 

“Yeah, stupid question, we—yeah, we weren’t, uh, careful. I’m just, I’m, uh, do you feel okay? What are we going to—? Do you…” The babbling halts as his eyes focus in on her. “Do you want this, Abby?”

That  _ we _ makes her want to hug him again, but she swallows nervously. “I feel okay, I guess. But I’m scared. I mean, I don’t know, with Maggie and Eric, and my—alcoholism and all of that if I should or could be a good mother, but I—“

“Do you  _ want _ this?”

“I think...maybe?” she sniffs as her eyes start to tingle. “I just, um, do you?”

“Abby, of course I do. Yes.”

“No, I mean,” she winces. “I know you want a baby, I’d have to be stupid not to know, but do you want…”

Shit, it’s too much too soon, she didn’t mean to say that. She bites her lip and tries her hardest not to look at him. His hand comes up to cup her cheek and she leans into it, closing her eyes. 

“Abby,” he says so gently that a tiny tear squeezes out despite her best efforts. Damn hormones.

“Hey, our hyponatremia lady wants to sign out AMA.”

Abby’s eyes shoot open to see Luka looking like he could cheerfully murder Ray. She won’t stop him if he tries.

“She can’t.”

“You wanna come and stop her then?” Ray leaves with an annoyed glare. Since he’s caught them making out (and only a  _ little _ more) once already, she wouldn’t blame him, except NOW is when he decides he can’t handle a patient himself and needs an attending?

“I have to take care of this. Don’t go anywhere.” The serious look Luka fixes her with makes something twist low in her stomach, and she wants to throw her hands up in exasperation at him as well as her body. Stern Luka is hot, but  _ priorities. _

* * *

As ever, the ER doesn’t stop for their personal drama, so of course she gets called out by Clemente. Then Luka has to run to take care of some actual department chief business. She’s not sure if it’s better or worse that he knows while she doesn’t know the full extent of what he’s thinking. His joy was obvious, and he did talk about them as a we. Her stomach is still in knots.

She’s lucky it’s Luka, because she knows he’ll respect her choice, even if it kills him. He’d never abandon their child. He’ll never abandon her either, if that’s what she wants. It’s just that she wants him to want her the way she wants him. Forever. Even if she’s not sure she believes forever love is a real thing, she wants it, so badly.

Then a little girl comes in with a bullet in her abdomen. Danielle, six years old, and Abby finds her wish list written in crayon for Santa. It’s all she can do not to burst into tears. This precious six year old is going to die on Christmas Eve, while her mother is there pleading for them to save her.

There are other patients who need her more and she isn’t sorry to have to leave. It’s a pleasant surprise when she runs into Kerry a while later and finds out Danielle is headed up to surgery.

“I thought—”

“Yeah, so did I, but she’s a fighter.”

God, this world is the worst. How can anybody bring a child into it? The words come out of her mouth before she can stop them. “How does anybody have a child when stuff like this happens?”

Kerry looks at her in surprise. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean…” 

Weaver waves her hand to stop the apologies. “It’s alright. We see so many terrible things happen. Losing Henry is almost the worst thing I can imagine. Losing Sandy was next on the list.” Her eyes go wistful and Abby could smack herself for bringing it up today. Ugh, her big mouth. “The only thing I can imagine that’s worse is never having them at all.”

“I—oh.” 

Kerry smiles softly. “When I see Henry, I see Sandy. I see proof of our love. Every second I have with that boy is worth any pain. I would never trade it, even if the worst happened. Ask Luka. I’m sure he’ll tell you the same thing.” The look she gives Abby is a little too knowing and it makes her cheeks heat. 

Chuny yells then, something about Danielle bradying down in the elevator. Weaver takes off at speed, leaving Abby standing there with her tumultuous thoughts.

* * *

The next hour goes by in a blur. Abby treats patient after patient, thankfully with minor issues, because her mind is elsewhere. Of course she knew that Luka is the father of her baby, but until Kerry said it, she didn’t really think about the fact that the baby is half him. A piece of Luka. Even if she shouldn’t, how can she not want it? 

She’s finishing up some sutures on a grandfather who got a bit overzealous while carving a Christmas Eve turkey when she feels him come up behind her.

“Hey, I’ve got to go fill out a couple forms really quick. Can we run across the street in about five minutes?”

“Sure,” she manages to get out before meeting his eyes, but they give nothing away. 

“I’ll find you,” he says as he strides away. 

She and Frank are at admit teasing Clemente about Jodie when he finds her a few minutes later. Deservedly, because for somebody who claims she’s a crazy ex he wants to get away from, Clemente sure did drop his pants fast. 

“I’m making Croatian bread and turkey for tomorrow, what are you cooking?”

“Cooking? Do you remember anything from the last time we dated?”

They chat about everything but the elephant in the room as they walk to the Jumbo Mart: Danielle, firing Eve, Christmas. It’s been an eventful day even without it.

When they’re finally sitting in the hard plastic chairs as they sip their hot chocolate—it’s late enough in the day that she’s not going to fight him for coffee—he reaches across the table to take her hand. As nervous as she is, it’s such a comfort just to have him touch her. 

“I remember it all, Abby. From before.”

She stares at him, at a loss for words. Is that good or bad? Before she can decide, he pulls out a box from his coat pocket and hands it to her. It’s her present, with a slightly smushed red bow.

“Open it.”

“Now?” The point of coming over here was supposed to be to talk about her pregnancy, she thought, and she’s a little exasperated at the detour. But he nods and bites his lip like he’s nervous, so she decides to humor him and lift the lid.

Okay, it’s beautiful, but why did he get her… “A compass?”

“I know it’s corny, but it seems we always find each other.”

Abby absorbs that, swallowing against the sudden lump in her throat as she looks back down at his gift. She’s too touched for words. He was too scared to give her jewelry, but this is at least as much of a statement. It’s much more meaningful and personal. Not just with the meaning he’s given it for the two of them, but it’s also such a Luka thing, with his love of sailing, like he’s saying she’s his true North. She can feel his hesitance, so she makes herself speak.

“It’s beautiful,” her throat croaks a little as she says it, and he shrugs sheepishly in response.

She should tell him that she’s decided she wants this, but he starts talking again before she can.

“I remember last time and that’s why I—I don’t want to scare you off by saying too much.”

That’s fair. She knows she’s run before and it’s probably still her default. But damn, did she ever learn her lesson. Grabbing his hand, she weaves her fingers through his.

“I get why you think that. But, Luka, I…” She loves him. And she ought to tell him that too, but as aforementioned, she’s a chicken. “I’m not running away. I want this. You and the baby.”

Luka drops his head before lifting it to grin hugely at her. They sit there holding hands and staring at each other like idiots for a few minutes before he finally shakes his head. “We’d better get back.”

His arm slips around her as they walk back in the cold. “Do you have a lot to do?”

“I have to check on two patients and finish up some charts, a couple random things and then I’m done.”

“So when do I get this present you supposedly already have for me?”

She smirks at him. “Well, I meant the baby, but I couldn’t wait. I do have something else for you, too, though.” Well, she will. As soon as she can visit the hospital gift shop. Come to think of it, she’s got the perfect idea. 

“Yeah, sure,” he laughs. 

Abby rolls her eyes. “I didn’t want to assume.” 

He squeezes her shoulder. “I know.”

She stops in her tracks at the ambulance bay entrance. “You do?”

“Of course. I know you.” He does, too. “You don’t have to get me anything. This is already the best Christmas I’ve had in years.”

“I know.” She grins up at him cheekily. “I know you, too.” 

“You do.” He’s looking at her in that warm, tender way that makes her melt into a puddle of goo. He leans down to whisper in her ear. “It was, even before I knew about the baby.” 

Her eyes slide shut with emotion as he kisses her cheek. Oh, she’s such a fool for this man. She knew that too, even if she didn’t let herself think about it too hard. He’s been glowing and jolly, a far cry from the quiet sadness (or downright hot mess of self-destruction) he’s been in past years. Even though he was excited for last year with Alex, it was nothing like this.

With her free hand, she pulls him in for a sweet kiss that quickly turns enthusiastic, and she wishes they were truly alone. A throat clearing loudly brings them back to themselves and she looks over to find Pratt grinning at them. He wiggles his eyebrows and salutes before steering Olivia to the sidewalk to head over to Ike Ryan’s, laughing on his way.

They look at each other and shrug. That makes at least five coworkers who definitely know about them: Neela, Ray, Pratt, Kerry and Clemente. She’s surprised it’s not everyone, but there hasn’t been a huge amount of teasing, so somehow they must have missed it. 

“Come on,” Luka says as he tugs on her arm. “Let’s finish up so we can start celebrating.”

“Okay,” she sighs, dragging her feet even after they pass through the crowd praying for Danielle. She hopes fervently that someone is listening to them, and she's optimistic enough at the moment to believe they are.

Luka bends down to her ear as the doors slide open in front of them. “You’d better hurry, the gift shop closes in fifteen minutes.”

Shit, she’s got to move. She feigns nonchalance, even though she knows he knows he’s right. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Mmhmm.” 

“Go do your work.” Abby pushes his arm as he chuckles and winks at her. As soon as he’s out of sight she rushes off to get everything done. She grins as she goes, because seriously, best Christmas ever.


End file.
